Last night was our most competitive game to date and was definitely the most fun. Playing just 2 on 2 with some home made 5’ W x 1’ H nets we laced them up and tried our best to not kill each other or ourselves.
The lineup read like a Toronto Maple Leafs tryout roster sheet.
You have your Dominik Hasek (Darrin AKA Dink) – Dude played net growing up but after hanging up his skates he prefers to cruise through the neutral zone dangling a puck around the other team hoping that he can make someone sprawl on the ice like he once did in his prime. His skating and stick handling skills are far superior then anyone else’s, yet his passes to me (his teammate) consistently went through my legs. The next morning he will have just 2 smokes rather than 3, but other wise be fine.
Next up, you Steve ‘Stumpy’ Thomas (Ken AKA my boss) – Having not worn skates in over 15 years he decides that he was going to give it all he’s got and whatever happened, happened. He seems strong on his feet until he trips over our homemade nets and takes a few to get to his feet. He is confident when stick handling knowing that his money move (deke to the forehand) works every time because the defender (me) doesn’t see it coming…ever. The next morning he is eating Motrin like Skittles but saying he would do it again in a second.
Next we have your T.J. Oshie (Shane AKA the carpenter) – Never played hockey growing up but three weeks ago went to Canadian Tire bought a stick and borrowed some skates. He is now the quickest, scrappiest, most determined person on the ice. He blocks shots, he chases pucks and he doesn’t realize his own strength (just ask the bruise on my arm). He may not be able to stop on the ice but his signature spin-o-rama stop has put his opponents (me) to shame. The next morning his knees are swollen and is walking with a limp but if asked he will say he is fine and is ready to go again.
Lastly we have your Patrik Stefan (Justin AKA me) – Highly touted from his years of road and roller hockey growing up and incredible skill on NHL 94-10, he is often a desired teammate until moments before the puck drops he mutters “dude, just a heads up but I can’t stop on these things, but I can go like the wind”. He stick handles like a slower Max Talbot and can scoop up the puck lacrosse style 1 time out of 14. He can turn hard to the right (only) and man can he fly, however his stamina leaves something to be desired. Through the years he has matured and grown (about 20 lbs.) and will be looking for a new stick this weekend because of it. The next morning his left knee hurts from falling on it (repeatedly) and has a large bruise on his bicep from a cross check courtesy of Shane. However he will once again play the game he loves and will try harder not to miss the gaping 5’ x 1’ net which has no goalie in it…again.